More clutter clearing

Today I found all the missing boxes. The ones I knew were there but were so tricky they eluded the eyes of my husband. So many more boxes! Boxes of kids clothes, as many if not more than I sorted yesterday, boxes of toys, boxes of junk, junk I apparently didn't want to sort before boxing, and then the boxes of fabric, lets not forget about my collection of fabric.

It is still a mess downstairs but I did make it 90% of the way and am going to go back down soon (wish me luck). But while I am taking a brake to feed, bathe and put my kids to bed I thought I would put down my feeling and thoughts from the day.

I think there might be a healthy amount of hushed mourning that goes along with sorting. Whether it is sorting out our lives or sorting out our crawl spaces. We start, ready to tackle the world, and then at some point there comes a pause. And then the questions start. Am I doing the right thing? Should I really be getting rid of all of this? Haven't all these items made up who I am? What will happen if I let them go? Can I let them go? Now there is the real question, can we let go of who we were to become who we are meant to be?

Scary isn't it? But why is that so scary? Isn't that what this, life, is truly all about? letting go, moving forward, letting go, moving forward. Could this fear just be the ego's way of trying to keep status quo? Trying to help us keep control over the uncontrollable? If I never let go of anything then the world around me will never change. As much as I would love to believe my ego when it tells me that, I have a sinking feeling its not true. Why not open our arms and welcome the new? It might be easier then bumping into everything because we can't see where we are going with our eyes focused on the past.

I will tell you, part of me is scared to bits of change, but it is coming whether I want it or not. I think we might be better friends if I welcome it into my life and don't have to be dragged kicking and screaming. Heres to always being able to see change, as a change for the better.